The Struggle

I am really struggling. I don’t mean to sound like a whiner or that I’m throwing myself a pity-party, but I feel like I need help. I have the support, but this whole “lifestyle change” thing is making me struggle.

Anyone who tells you that you do not need money to become healthy is lying. I do not make a lot of money as I am on a fixed income and I receive some assistance from the SNAP program. (Food stamps) Sometimes it feels degrading to ask for help.

I don’t mean to bring religion into this blog, because I am not a religious person at all. I am rather spiritual. I believe what I believe, and I feel that everyone is allowed to believe in what they believe without pushing an agenda on to someone else. Just like politics, religion is an off-limit topic for me when it comes to certain people. But likewise, I do believe in one thing that is kind of both spiritual as well as universal: KARMA.
Oh yes, karma. I do believe that the universe gives you what you need, but I believe that if you truly want something, you put it out into the universe and you may or may not get it. However, with that, I do believe that if you do something good for someone, it will come back to you.

This is mirrored by a dear friend. This dear friend did not want to be named, does not want recognition, but rather have her message passed on: Help each other out. This dear friend, without being asked but hearing of my recent struggles, bought me a new computer on amazon. I was overjoyed and overwhelmed, and yet slightly embarrassed that it has come to the point where people are seeing my struggle.

Getting back to the healthy eating equals money….so yes, I’m poor as poor can be. I’m trying my hardest. I am at my wits end though. It seems that however how hard I try with maximum effort, I’m producing minimal results. I am not even eligible for gastric bypass because I am on blood thinners. I guess I shall see what Weight Watchers holds for me, but I can’t even afford to go to the meetings because I don’t have a car, so I will be online only.

This sucks. This is a struggle. Wish me luck, dear Reader. I will update soon.

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